So yesterday.

I remember when I used to laugh and laugh all day long. Smile so wide like there's nothing wrong. Giggle at anything till my cheeks sore. But now all that is just no more. I can't have those feelings back. Everything seems out of track. When I fall I get back up, but now I prefer to stay on the ground. Everything I do seems so wrong to everyone. Now I just wish all this guilt would just be gone. They stop looking at my deeds, they just keep looking at my flaws. Nothing I do seems right, all I can say is that I don't want to start a fight. All I can do now is back off and drift away from the crowd. But inside I just want to scream so loud. I want go back the past, I don't want this feeling to last. No more tears and pain, I'm not going to be a sober again. I should get my ass back up and keep on fighting these thoughts. I should stop being someone I'm not. I don't want to stay down when these thoughts push me to the ground. I get back up on my feet and stop being so weak. I just want to go back the time where I can laugh all day long and get crack without caring about what they say. And I want back those people who were always there for me all through the way. But somehow I think I'd just have to wait. No matter how long it takes. I'll be here sitting and waiting till the time comes, when I'm ready I'll get back up and run. That's my promise to everyone that told me to be the old me, all I have to do is just get back up on my feet. I want back the good old days, that's not much to ask.